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Friday, May 8, 2009

The Masks

I've been facilitating a group for the last five weeks that focuses on women discovering themselves, so that they can be better people and better partners within relationships. We've been exploring what we are on this earth to do. We've looked at our likes and dislikes. Most importantly we've looked at the roles we play or masks we wear as a result of the expectations of others. We are looking at them, so we can take them off and become more congruent in our lives. A part of the affirmation we say every week is: 

"I know me, I like me...I show my true self to the world because I am alright."
To show your true self to the world is a really a life long struggle. First, you've got to know you then, you've got to trust you, then you've got to like you, then you've got to trust that other people will like you. Every time you change yourself, you've got to start this process all over again, so that you can live a congruent life.

Blogging is sorta a mask and a revealing of one's self all at once. What I mean is you start writing about yourself, your beliefs, your causes, your rants, and many times we use the keyboard as a mask to show the very best of ourselves. However, the more we type on our own blogs, and comment on others, our true self is revealed. As bloggers we feel elated to know we have followers and commenters because they serve as confirmation that we can trust that people like us.

This past evening I was invited to a Mom's Night Out by Renee Ross over at cutiebootycakes. We went to a Belly Dancing class at Nazeem Allayl Belly Dance Studio , and then for drinks sadly, I was the little piggy who had none and dinner. All the women who were there were bloggers, some Renee knew in real life, some she knew through the blog world. Some I had heard of, and visited, some I met for the first time. I didn't know who would be there.  I heard Mom's Night Out I quickly arranged things, so that I could get out of the house.  At a moment's notice I was out of the house and making my way down to Mom's Night Out. It wasn't until after I had returned home that I began to think that maybe I should have worn a mask. I was my regular loud and  boisterous self. Talking it up here and there. Giving my opinion on everything and anything. I had a blast and the ladies were very friendly and welcoming. There really was no need for me to play a role or to wear a mask, it just kind of hit me later that my blog persona may be different than the real life me, and as a result I should have hidden. I realize something though, Renee's real life personality is very much like her blog personality, so I'm guessing that mine is too. I couldn't hide if I had really wanted to. I know me , I like me...I show my true self to the world because I am alright.

Here's the distrustful clown mask, I've worn this one before. My lack of trust of people has caused me to act a fool a time or two hundred.

This an old European Mask. This look is the ole' "nothing bothers me mask," when underneath there is an eruption waiting to come out.

This one is the "geez, I'm sorry" mask. When really there isn't an ounce of remorse underneath the mask.

Here's the "I'm angry all the time" mask, when it's more like "I'm really hurting under here."


MBB Founder and Editor Denene Millner said...

Okay, um, I'm gonna raise my hand and say that my takeaway from reading your blog has NEVER been that you're quiet and shy--LOL!!!! Anyone who calls herself RockStar and wears a funky mohawk has BIG personality... no need to mask that!

Happy Mother's Day, sweetheart!

Ms. Behaving said...

Glad you felt comfortable enough in your own skin to be YOURSELF @ Mom's Night Out.

We all know you're a diva and the rest of the world should know it too! :-)

P.S. Have a safe and Happy Mother's Day!

Ms. Bar B: said...

Whatever Brooke, no way do you need a mask because there is nothing that you need to hide. The self that you showed at the gathering is one that you DO also show here, and it is fabulous. Remember, we aren't just 1 self, but many and its ok to be any 1 of them at any given time =)

Glad you had a good time and I hope that you get to do it again!

Jewelry Rockstar said...

Yeah ladies who am I kidding? I am Brooke coming and going, whether it be keystrokes or conversation.

I hope you all have a Happy Mother's Day!!!

I also hope that one day we can all get together live and in person. YOU KNOW--- blogaliscious is coming to Atlanta in Oct. I would love it if all of you would come. Denene, I already know you'll be there presenting I think. Ms. B & Ms. B, you girls need to come on down.
I know I have a lot of nerve since it's just a drive for me, and a whole hotel room, flight, spending money thing for you. However, if you come I'll try real hard not to have this baby (due Oct 31st) and to meet you there.

Anonymous said...

Hey Brooke!
It was great hanging out with you last night and I love this post. Girl, talk about the mask, we all wear them, don't we.
And what was that mantra...I like me, I....gotta go back and read it.
Anywhoo, great to meet you and I will be back!

Ms. Bar B: said...

Super true about what you said about integrating the selves... I'm still working on it, lol.

I have a total of 4 grad celebrations/ceremonies. One for my major, one for the Black grads and another for student parents... I'm on a roll. You'll be seeing more pictures after the 14th, 16th and 21st.

Happy Mother's Day to you too round mama, hehehe. Please tell me that you are gonna show us pictures of you are prego-fabulous?

The Astral Cowboy said...

Wonderful post. Don't hide your light.


Alicia said...

Thank you for this post! So glad I came across your blog.

fly tie said...

more inspiring words.

"then you've got to trust that other people will like you."

the above resonated with me because it goes against that whole mentality of "well, i'on care if nobody likes me!!"

when it comes down to it, i think we really do.

i can certainly relate to what you wrote in regards to the second mask. that's classic scorpio, ha!

i'm glad you were you and later came to the realization that you did just fine *being* you at the gathering. from what i can tell, through blog world, i think you're pretty amazing.

i'm gonna have to consider this october gathering myself. since i drove to atl alone for the first time last month, i just feel like i can get up and go whenever now!

(oh, but i may already be in atl then. more to come on that...)